Apocketfullofdaisies

the common sense guide to surviving the zombie apocalypse:

gyzym:

So, in the wake of reading this terrifying shit, Postcard and I started chatting, as you do, about the zombie apocalypse. Here are some things Postcard and I enjoy: zombie media, common sense, and YELLING ABOUT STUFF. Thus, for your reading pleasure, please enjoy our simple twenty-step guide to NOT DYING in the unlikely event that a zombie apocalypse ravages humanity:

1. IN THE EVENT OF AN ACTUAL APOCALYPTIC SITUATION, ASSUME THAT THE FOLLOWING THINGS ARE GOING TO STOP WORKING: running water (this includes toilets); anything that relies on electricity (this includes gas pumps); anything that relies on natural gas lines (this includes gas stoves/central heat); basically, anything that relies on there being a factory of some variety at the other end of thing you want to make do stuff. THAT’S ALL GONNA BREAK. THIS INCLUDES THE INTERNET. Thus, the most important thing to do in the event of a zombie apocalypse is: 
2. RESEARCH. For as long as you possess the internet, do everything you can to learn as much as possible. Research edible/medicinal plants (or seriously, go into a bookstore and loot your shit a guidebook, they’re not large, they sell little tiny ones, you can put it in your pocket, WHY DOES EVERYONE IN EVERY ZOMBIE MOVIE NOT DO THIS). Research, from available information, how the zombies work/which of their senses are functional—for example, if they operate largely by smell, you want to work on smelling not alive. If they operate largely by sight, DON’T LIGHT FIRES AT NIGHT. And speaking of fires…

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I just remembered the funniest thing.

When I was in 3rd grade, I went to a Christian school with less than 100 people in it. In the middle of reading class, the teach asked us to raise our hands if we have ever been to a bookstore..I raised my hand. Then the teach asked, “Does anyone live near a bookstore?”…Of course I raised my hand again. I begin to scream out, “I live by a big bookstore, an adult bookstore!” By adult bookstore, I basically just thought it was for adults and no one else. The teacher then giggles and looks at me like I’m mentally challenged or something. I went home very confused that day.

Now I know that the bookstore I was referring to as a child was the Lion’s Den…

Is it just me…

or does anyone else hate/despise when you’re reading someone’s tweet and they put #winning at the end? WHY?! I CAN’T..TAKE…IT..ANYMORE.